This may seem to be an unusual topic, but it is one that has much significance to us and is often misunderstood

This may seem to be an unusual topic, but it is one that has much significance to us and is often misunderstood

This may seem to be an unusual topic, but it is one that has much significance to us and is often misunderstood

He does not want us to create a situation that is like an exclusive social club. James told us not to be like that. We are also warned about false humility! That is a form of pride. Even whilst the Lord was trying to show them something, one of the guests interrupted with a “spiritual sounding” comment as we often hear:

When they heard this, one of the dinner guests said to Jesus, “Someday God will have a kingdom feast, and how happy and privileged will be the ones who get to share in that joy!” Luke 14:15

He missed the point, but the Lord continued with His parable about the dinner, giving a wide range of scenarios and when we look closely into many of them, they were “legitimate excuses”, often found in Moses’ teachings.

We can quote “the right scriptures”, but miss seeing truth. We can quote “thou shalt not kill” which is scriptural, but Jesus told us that an incorrect attitude of the heart such as hatred is tantamount to murder. He explained that we do not have to physically commit the act of adultery, but holding those thoughts is as if we have done it. The Law is there—and it is still valid today, but Jesus took it to a higher level and made it relevant in its practical application.  Paul explained it this way:

 Are we beginning to sound like those who speak highly of themselves? Do you really need letters of recommendation to validate our ministry, like others do? Do we really need your letter of endorsement? Of course not!
For your very lives are our “letters of recommendation,” permanently engraved on our hearts, recognized and read by everybody. As a result of our ministry, you are living letters written by Christ, not with ink but by the Spirit of the living God—not carved onto stone tablets but on the tablets of tender hearts.
We carry this confidence in our hearts because of our union with Christ before God.
Yet we don’t see ourselves as capable enough to do anything in our own strength, for our true competence flows from God’s empowering presence. He alone makes us adequate ministers who are focused on an entirely new covenant.
Our ministry is not based on the letter of the law but through the power of the Spirit.
The letter of the law kills, but the Spirit pours out life. 2 Corinthians 3:1-6

Jesus invites us all, but the fact of the matter is that this invitation is often rejected.

I say to you all, the one who receives an invitation to feast with me and makes excuses will never enjoy my banquet. Luke 14:24

A great crowd followed Him—but they were not all there for the right reason. He turned to them and said:

If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, and wife, and children, and brothers, and sisters, and his own life too, he is unable to be My taught one.
Luke 14:26

Please note “taught one”. In the original language this is mathētēs. It speaks about a disciple—a believer and close follower, a pupil, a student and someone who is tutored, implying a closer relationship than someone having mere information and religion.

This where we see the difference between “church” and “synagogue”.
The centrality of Christian life is often in the church whereas the centrality of Jewish  life is not found in the synagogue—but in the family.

Synagogue is actually a collection of families, or a gathering together.
I was taught as a young believer that I had to go to church (I love going to church) and not to “forsake the assembling of ourselves together” as seen in Hebrews 10:25.
They really meant that I had to start going to their church, but it does not mean that.

The early believers often met in people’s homes. They did not have “church” as we now know it. It is a big lesson in itself, better shared at another time.

In Jewish homes, they read and speak scriptures every day—in their homes.
They talk about their history. They recall God’s promises to them as a people. They constantly give thanks.

The family is very important. Scriptures clearly tell us to honour our mother and father. Paul said:

Children, what you should do in union with the Lord is obey your parents, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—this is the first commandment that embodies a promise—“so that it may go well with you, and you may live long in the Land.”
Fathers, don’t irritate your children and make them resentful; instead, raise them with the Lord’s kind of discipline and guidance. Ephesians 6:1-4

We live in a world where rebellion is increasing; where the “old fashioned” principles of dignity, respect, faithfulness and listening to the advice of our elders is rapidly disappearing. Young people want to do their own thing, whatever it is and if it feels good, do it.

The biblical model of parents may not always be evident of course, but the bible tells us to listen to them; to take their advice and in plain English to “do as you are told”.

If the mother and father are following the Lord, what they say to their children should be acceptable in the sight of God.

The bible has much to say on the matter. Here are a few examples. Exodus 20:12; 21:17; Leviticus 19:3; 20:9; 21:2; Numbers 30:5; Deuteronomy 5:16; 27:16; Proverbs 1:8; 6:20; 15:20; 17:6; 20:20; 23:22; 30:17; Isaiah 45:10; Malachi 1:6; Matthew 15:4; 19:19; Mark 7:10; 10:19; Luke 18:20; Ephesians 6:2; 1 Timothy 5:4. The bible also gives a comprehensive list of the qualities of parents.

My wife and I know at first hand what it is like to give Spirit led advice to young people only to be mocked and our warnings fell on deaf ears. We have seen the sad outcome of what could have been avoided.

Jesus knew about those scriptures and met all those requirements. He, the Son of God, honored Joseph and Mary and led by example, so when He spoke of hating our parents, it has to refer to something else—something we may not immediately see.

In this instance, the Hebrew word used is the word śā·nē. There are a range of meanings including hate, abhor, detest, loathe, be hostile, have a feeling of open hostility and intense dislike.

In Malachi 1:3, we read that God loved Jacob, but hated Esau but what does that really mean? Would you bless someone you hated?

Genesis 33 reveals that God blessed Esau, so I doubt if God “hated him”.

In Deuteronomy 2, God gave Mount Seir to Esau and told Israel not to touch him. He commanded Israel to buy food from Esau.

Until I started to look more deeply into scripture, I have reached opinions that may not always be accurate. Like many of my peers, I have not thought favorably of this man at all. Agreed, he made many mistakes, but so do we. There is a quality about the man that is to be commended. Many of his descendants today are generally very friendly towards Israel, unlike other nations, especially Iran and its proxies. The United Nations voted in a scandalous way that in essence wants all Jews gone!

Biblical prophecy that speaks of the nations coming against God’s people are coming to pass before our eyes.

It is said that Jacob “hated” his first wife Leah, but in Genesis 29 we see that he loved Rachel and Leah. Verse 30 says that he loved Rachel more than he loved Leah. This could be a clue. If we read it in such light, that scripture does not really say that God “hated” Esau as we think. It paints the picture of loving one more than another. Romans 9:13 in the Amplified version states:

As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated (held in relative disregard in comparison with My feeling for Jacob).

Malachi again spoke of “hated” this way:

“For I hate divorce,” says Adonai the God of Isra’el, “and him who covers his clothing with violence,” says Adonai-Tzva’ot.
Therefore take heed to your spirit, and don’t break faith. Malachi 2:16

I shall not touch in the divorce dilemma here, but it seems that God does “permit” divorce—but only under certain stringent conditions. We should look more closely at the original texts very prayerfully and closely, without leaping to conclusions. That word for hate here  is also śā·nē. It is a way of speaking about how God does  not want “second best”. Jacob loved Rachel and he also loved Leah, but Leah was “second best”. I recommend you read the accounts concerning Jacob and Esau again.

When Jesus spoke about hating our parents, He was not violating His own command to love them. Let’s read the account:

Great crowds were following him. He turned around and addressed them as follows: “Anyone who wants to be my follower must love me far more than he does his own father, mother, wife, children, brothers, or sisters—yes, more than his own life—otherwise he cannot be my disciple. And no one can be my disciple who does not carry his own cross and follow me. Luke 14:25-27

The first thing to weigh up is the makeup of that crowd. In any large group, there will be a mixture of casual observers, mockers, curious onlookers, religious people, unbelievers and genuinely committed and dedicated followers. Some people go to church because of tradition. Some go for companionship. Some go for the music. Others attend as a matter of curiosity. Real disciples go to worship in spirit and truth (not entertainment) and to learn truth, not just hear a nice sermon. Those folk are being discipled.

The parable of the sower and the seed seen in Mark chapter four is a great example and Jesus said if we can understand that correctly, we shall have the ability to “rightly divide the word of truth”.

A crowd of people were there and everyone heard Jesus teach, but no one understood Him.

It was only after He was alone with His disciples and other believers, that He revealed truth to “them”.

People may say that the parable is about the kind of soil, the hearer’s heart and so on, but  He clearly stated that the parable was about the word of God. Therefore if we do not understand the word of God, we can never understand truth. As I have started to learn after all these years, the word of God is Spirit breathed or inspired and so the truth can only be seen when He reveals it to us. That is part of His ministry to us today according to Jesus’ words in John’s gospel.

The Lord revealed His desire for commitment. He wants to be first and must be first, but He is not telling us to abandon our families.

Paul said in 1 Timothy 5:8 that if a man does not take proper care for his family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever—an infidel.

It has often been said that we must live a life of poverty, privation and hardship to follow Jesus, but that is not always true.

The prosperity doctrines have gone into excess one way, but the poverty mentality has gone full swing in the other direction.

Both are unbalanced. When Jesus told Peter and Andrew, then James and John to follow him, they did—they left their nets and many folk say that they then had nothing, but that is not true. Peter was married and owned a home. Those men had partners in their fishing business and owned more than one boat.

Judas was the treasurer and often gave money to the poor and no one can give to the poor if they do not have any money.

The “suffering for Jesus”mentality and Paul’s “thorn” was not a physical condition as is often advocated. Paul said what it was—a buffeting spirit. The Lord commanded Ananias to pray for him to be healed, so he did not have a problem with sight.

It seems that we have accepted certain teachings without question and formed doctrines and entire denominations on them and they may not be correct! One thing that God is doing today is restoring truth. After much soul searching, I have reached the conclusion that I must reappraise some of my own beliefs. In so doing, many of the things that I hold near and dear to my heart are making sense at last. They are becoming “more precious” to me and I long to share them with others, to enhance their own experience.

Paul’s prayer for us in Ephesians chapter one, especially verses 15-23 and in Ephesians 3:14-21are a driving force.

Let me close by sharing the scripture portion again.

Anyone who wants to be my follower must love me far more than he does his own father, mother, wife, children, brothers, or sisters—yes, more than his own life—otherwise he cannot be my disciple. And no one can be my disciple who does not carry his own cross and follow me.
“But don’t begin until you count the cost. Luke 14:26-28

The Lord wants to occupy first place in our hearts and I have tried to reveal that He is very family oriented. I am Jewish by natural birth but I never practiced Judaism. I was raised in the church of England. Our family was very involved and prominent in the Anglican community. I established a good working relationship with the bishop and many priests became close family friends, one of whom made me his  protégée—but I never knew the Lord. That’s the difference.

On September 1st 1968 at 7:30PM I had my first “face-to-face encounter” with the Lord.

Since then, I have been involved in a wide range of Christian activities, studied at bible colleges, studied for a doctorate and done all those things most of us usually associate with Christian life and ministry—but they really meant very little by comparison to what I am starting to see now. That was Paul’s confession.

I can honestly say that I love the church and church life, but something somewhere was lacking and I did not know what it was.
I believe that we never stop learning and so my studies have not ceased. My research is revealing something that is both a blessing and a challenge. I have embarked on a new series of studies at high levels with Jews in Jerusalem and they love Jesus.

The “replacement theology” that often prevails is wrong and dangerous. Like many perhaps, my “theology”has been shaped by our “Western viewpoint” and denominational backgrounds. I am not suggesting that they are”wrong”, but are only half of the overall picture. Perhaps our “theology” has been based on “the church” or “the synagogue” rather than the family—the people who make up the entire Body of Christ, of Jew and Gentile alike—the blood-washed, redeemed saints who worship the Lamb.

In my Anglican tradition, the church ordinances, traditions and ceremonies took first place and I am not suggesting that they are wrong at all. I am merely trying to make a comparison with our priorities. We majored on infant baptism, on confirmation, on the various ordinances, but no one ever introduced me to Jesus. Thats the difference.

Jesus said that He would build His Church, but “churches” never existed then. “Church” is a body or a family. The Greek uses words like ekklēsia that speaks of a congregation, an individual assembly of believers, or Old Testament worhipers.

Ekklesia is derived from two words ek  that means “out of” and klēsis that means “a calling”.

Kaleō  (to call), was used among the Greeks of a body of citizens gathered to discuss the affairs of State.

It is used to designate the gathering of Israel, summoned for any definite purpose, or a gathering regarded as representative of the whole nation. Originally it spoke of the church as it was in Jerusalem and as the believers were scattered, they assembled together wherever they could.

In Ephesians 1:22 and 5:23 the Church is described as His (Jesus’) body. It often related to groups of believers in a certain district such as seen in Acts 9:31, 20:28; 1 Corinthians. 1:2; Galatians 1:13; 1 Thessalonians. 1:1; 2 Thessalonians  1:1 and 1 Timothy 3:5.

In Romans 16:23, Gaius was the host of “the whole church”. The assembly in Corinth met in a house, where Paul was entertained.

Unlike some opinions, Peter did not really have the influence on Rome as they maintain.

Another Greek word to consider is panēguris as seen in Hebrews 12:23 that is derived from pan that means all and agora, that speaks of any kind of assembly, or a gathering of the people in honour of a god, or for some public festival, such as the Olympic Games.

I touched on this to illustrate that “church” as we understand it, may not be everything we make it out to be.

The question is, “What or who comes first?” Jesus does not want “second best”.

We may lay claim to the blessing, to the money, to the ministry and everything associated with it, gain the whole world yet lose our soul.

The Lord said that if we want to follow Him—and become His disciples, there are certain steps to follow. God does not have “grandchildren”, but sons (no gender implied). Each and every one of us must have an individual and personal Father/son relationship and experience. One day we shall leave this life and stand totally alone before God. Therefore what my father did or did not do is inconsequential. I attended church with my mother and him for 26 years—but I had no relationship with God.
Like many other people, my life was my life and I lived the way I wanted to live, but He was not first.

Please make Him first.

I hope that I have revealed that it is not about “hating” our parents. It is about putting Him first.

Blessings,

Robert